My Crazy Top 6 Picks!

Tenth Avenue North
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This is happens to be my top favorite Christian Bands! The first time I heard them, I fell in love with them! Talk about love at first sight... Anyways, the song I picked is called "You Are More". It's from their second album, "The Light Meets The Dark". Which was released on May 11th, 2010. The story behind this song goes something like this; I was in treatment at the time and my mom was visiting me. She brought this CD with her and before she left she said that the third song reminded her of me. Once i got back to my room I decided to listen to it. I put in to the CD player and clicked the forward button three times. Then I sat and listend to the song. It goes like this:

"You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade."

Finally the song ended and I noticed that I was crying. It turns out that my mom was right. It reminded me of me. I thought about it for awhile and realized that I am more than what I have done in my past and this is my chance to turn it around.

MercyMe
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This is my second favorite Christian band. They have been apart of my ife for about ten years. When I first heard this song, I just had to have the CD. My dad said I couldn't have it because it was played on the raido all the time. A year later, he took his life. Mom was planning the funeral and asked me what song I thought should be played. I didn't even have to think about it, it just came to my mind. I said, "I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe!" Mom agreed with me and she said lets go get the CD. The album is called Almost There. It was released in 2001, a year before my life changed... Saturday, Feburary 23rd, 2002 was the day I had to say good-bye. It wasn't easy for any of the Smith's. As I sat in the church pew and waited intensely for the pastor to play the song, I realized I was never going to see him again. Then the song came on;

"Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!"

I bursted into tears. My Aunt, who was sitting next to me, took me in her arms and held me tightly. She told me that evrything was going to be okay. I trusted her and that's all that mattered. His last words in his letter were, "I love you."

Josh Wilson
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This is my third favortie Christian singer! He's not a band. Well, as he put it, he's a one man band. Anyways, I saw him in concert and I had no idea who he was. Infact, I had never heard of him until the concert. Which was  Friday, October 1st, 2010. He was the first to perform out of the three. There was Matthew West and Jonny Diaz. As I was saying, he started to play the song, I didn't know the tune or song but if I remember correctly, it was very catchy. It had this calming affect to it. I love the album name! "Try To Fit The Ocean In A Cup". I think it was very clever, but that's just me. If you have the CD, it's number two. It's called Savior, Please. You would think it was released in 2010 but it was actually released in 2008. Maybe if you see the lyrics, you'll know it.

"I try to be so tough,
but I'm just not strong enough.
I can't do this alone,
God I need you to hold on to me.
I try to be good enough,
but I'm nothing without your love.
Savior, please keep saving me." 

There really is no story behind this song. All I know is that it speaks to me. In other words it has meaning. "I try to be so tough, but I'm just not strong enough". Some days that is honestly how I feel. I try to be tough for the people I love and care about, but sometimes I can't seem to do it. It's like putting on a mask and pretending to be someone your not. Instead, show your true colors, shine your light.

Eminem
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I'm just going to say it off the bat. It was released in 2010 from the album Recovery. The song title is called "Love The Way You Lie". It goes a little something like this;

"Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie"

For me this song just rips me apart. For those of you who have no idea what this song is talking about, I'll tell you. It's about an abusive relationship. How he promises that he'll never hurt you in anyway but turns around and hits you. My story for this is a hard one. Why? Because I loved him with everything I had. I never loved anyone else the same way I loved him. It was love at first sight. Or at least that's what I thought. We dated for two weeks and then I saw change in him. He wasn't himself anymore. He started to promise all these things. The one promise I will never forget is when he promised me that he would never hurt me in any way shape or form. Later in the relationship he started to hit me. I thought it was a one time thing but turned out that it wasn't. We got engaged and I felt like I had to say yes. For two reasons. One being that I love him so much and two, because I was scared of what would happen if I said no. I remember waking up in the hospital one day. I remember the whole thing. I was drunk and high to the point I passed out. I got up and walked outside. Here's the thing, I wasn't walking, I was floating. That's what it felt like. I came back in the room. He grabbed my head and slamed it into the bedside table. In shock he turned me around to apoligize. What he found was blood. It was coming from my nose. I ran to the bathroom and then threw up even more blood into the sink. I stared into the mirror, wondering if that was really me. Come to find out, it was. I was in the hospital. My mom was there and I remember her face. Her eyes were filled with tears. She was cleaning the blood that stained my hands and face. That's when I realized the true love of a mother's child.

Mike Posner
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There are three male singers that I'm "madly in love" with. Travie Mccoy, Bruno Mars, and Mike Posner. This happens to be Mike Posner. My favortie song by him is "Please Don't Go". It's on the album 31 Minutes To Takeoff. The first time I heard this song, it had no meaning. Even though I thought I was never going to find true love after my abusive relationship, I did. That's where the saying comes to play, "Never say Never". I have delt with abandonment all my life. I fell in love again and I wasn't going to lose him. My mind was set. For the first few months I questioned he was going to be there when I woke up. Turns out he is.

"Baby please don't go
If I wake up tomorrow will you still be here
I don't know
If you feel the way I do
If you leave I'm gonna find you"

No, I didn't fall in love on the first day. I believe love takes time and grows over a matter of months, maybe even years. I will admit, I fell for him after the first month. I was recently out of treatment when we met. I was clean, he wasn't. After three months of dating, I thought everything was grand. I was nine months clean and he was two months clean. We got in this huge fight and at the begining of the relationship I told him he needed to stop doing drugs. The day after this huge fight, he texted me and told me that he didn't stop using after we started dating. I was pissed! I set my boundry before all this went down and said that if you use while we are together, it's over. I didn't think it would come to this. But it did. I couldn't stick to my boundry. I stayed with him. Am I proud of the choice I made? Yeah! I believe that it made our relationship stronger. I promised him I wasn't going to leave, I'm keeping that promise. I love you, forever! To be continued...

Phil Collins
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"'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more"

Oh my gosh! I can't tell you how much I love this song! Can you name the song? If you guessed "You'll Be In My Heart", which comes from the soundtrack of Tarzan and was released in 1999, then you're right! This is another song that I heard for the first time and fell in love with it. I'm not going to lie but when I watched Tarzan, I cried. My reason for crying, it was sad. I know this song is about a monkey and a baby boy but it's a little different to me. There are a lot of people in my life that mean the world to me. My famliy, but there is way more than just that. I now most people put their family first, I don't. For me the kids next door come first. I have been with them since about eight months old. They are my world. I will do anything for them. Back in 2010. I lived with them for awhile. They were like my second family, or the family I never had. They were there when I was going through treatment. Never left my side. When I got out they were very supportive. Apparently I did something wrong and they don't talk to me anymore. Which hurts like hell. In my mind you just can't take them away like that. Then again they aren't my kids. And even though they look up to me, I still try to make our relationship work. I love them and they love me. No matter what happens, they'll always be apart of my life.